19 January 2009

Why I Haven't Posted (and why I should have)

Although I'd like to blame my not writing on the busy holidays, or on the fact that I've been working through depression the past couple months (that deserves another post), I just haven't posted lately because I haven't felt like I had anything to post. The subtitle of my blog is my motto, "Life's all about the experiences," and my life is pretty boring. Why write when I haven't had any noteworthy experiences?

Of course, I've had all sorts of noteworthy experiences, like visiting my family over Christmas. My dad gave his first Sunday sermon at his church, and it was only the second time I'd seen my niece, who was 10 months old at the time. There was the whole experience of reaching bottom emotionally and going to the doctor to get on medication. There are the experiences of my mindfulness practice through the book I've been studying, and experiences the book has asked me to notice, those pleasant things I notice while I'm experiencing them (like the snow falling gently through the air today).

My counselor suggested I carry around a journal with me, and she said I don't have to write long entries. I could just write a sentence or two as I'm feeling something. Her permission to write a sentence or two made all the difference. Sure, I knew that no one was going to grade me on my journal entries or judge me for writing a single sentence, yet I always felt compelled to write longer entries because they seemed more worthwhile. In my practice these past few weeks of writing shorter entries, it never occurred to me that rules of length don't exist for blog writing. If anything, people who blog generally post far shorter entries than I do. So now that I am learning to appreciate the small experiences, and now that I am learning to let myself write shorter pieces, and now that I'm committed this year to writing at least 15 minutes a night - it's a start - perhaps these posts will come more frequently. Perhaps these posts will be more enjoyable to read, too. I hope!